I brought the little one for a jab recently. I placed her on the scale to have her weight and height taken. She struggled when she was laid down on the scale. Then, she looked me in the eyes. She was searching for assurance of safety from me whilst she was lying on the scale.
This was a precious profound experience.
I placed my hand on her chest and stroke her, with my eyes meeting hers, I said, “it is okay, it is okay…”
The importance of having a sense of safety or security never leave us. No matter how old we get and how much we have experienced in life. However, the foundation we have is crucial, and the foundation of security is built from infancy. Bringing up and helping a child be established in security is of paramount importance to the child’s future development into adulthood.
When a child feels safe, he or she will explore, play, learn and grow.
Infants and very young children look to their caregivers for assurances of safety, and they gain a sense of security from the bonds they form with their main caregivers.
Children look to their caregivers and observe significant people around them. They learn how to evaluate “threats”, handle fears and gain a sense of safety in their environment from their caregivers and the significant people around. They also learn ways of coping in the process.
Parents and caregivers have been given this important and privileged role of helping our precious ones experience safety and security from young. This does not mean that we have to start being overprotective.
What can be helpful is to provide consistent nurturing relationship with your children, right from infancy. Providing assurance of safety when they need it and modeling healthy ways of working through “threats” and fears.
Bringing up a child is challenging yet also rewarding. We may not be perfect parents or caregivers but we can be better attuned and responsive parents or caregivers.
For those of us who are not parents, we also have a “child” within whom we may not be aware of. The interesting thing is whilst we grow to become adults, we always carry “the child in us”. For some of us, we may have a child within us who has yet to feel secure and safe.
If so, what do we do?
Tend to your inner child, like a loving parent would, and help to reassure.
We feel safe and secure when there is love, and I mean consistent genuine love, as best as we can.
When we feel scared, sometimes, what we need to hear is, “it is okay..it is okay..”
And, sometimes, we need help, support or inputs. Reach out…whether we are parents of our children or the child within.
Copyright © 2014-2017 Life Pivot Counselling
Disclaimer: This blog and its posts are not treatment recommendations nor claim to represent clinical point of view. The contents of this blog do not replace formal consultation with a mental health or medical professional.